Forgiveness is about seeing another as a being, and not as an object.

Forgiveness is about allowing another not to be imprisoned in our beliefs and judgments of all the labels we want to squeeze them into. Mother, father, friend, brother, sister, lover, child, husband, man/woman, and on and on.

What we cannot forgive, is their inability to live up to our beliefs and expectations of how
they should be, living in our labels.

When these people disappoint us, by failing to live up to our beliefs and expectations, we are devastated. Because, these beliefs are the bedrock of our identity. They define our ‘reality’. So it’s really our failed beliefs that cause our suffering, not the person that just walked in another direction.

Most importantly, we also objectify ourselves. We play many roles (mother, daughter, friend, partner, etc.). When we do not fulfill our expectations about ourselves, it sets-off our own self-inflicted guilt and suffering. This is the root cause of unforgiveness. When we can
accept ourselves in all our frailty, limitations, and darkness, we can do the same for others.

So, what if we could give up our identities, and see ourselves not as
woman, lover, friend, professional, and on and on? We would be left with just being. We would be able to forgive and accept ourselves and others, as cut from the same cloth ~ a part of humanity with all it’s uniqueness, irrationality, and vulnerabilities.

We would be left with the acceptance of our shared humanness.

Without an identity there would be no failed expectations to forgive.

Forgiveness is about allowing others, and ourselves, to be ourselves.

We would be free.

Forgiveness begins with self-forgiveness. This entails observing, allowing our unforgiveness, and all the accompanying emotions to simply be there. No suppression. No distraction. No denial. And in time, the energies will dissipate.

The state of allowing is the path to our wholeness.